Bill Cosby didn't write his book, Come On
People: On the Path from Victims to Victors, for poverty-stricken black
people who were self-destructive. Cosby wrote his book in a misguided and insultingly
paternalistic attempt at shaming all
blacks in order to bring about change in the behaviors of those criminal and
irresponsible elements.
As though the criminal element exist only among blacks. Other races not only
have the propensity for crime, but they do actually commit crimes, as well. To
suggest otherwise is an unfair, racist, disgusting sentiment. Such a
sentiment either suggests that all blacks are so noble as to be above vices or
that all blacks are so debased as to only be able to wallow in criminal
activities.
Some people may think this is common sense but other people, specifically the
racist, don't grasp that we are all capable of making mistakes and bad choices,
and that some of us do, no matter your color. And they will offer up their
most fraudulent arguments to support such an idea.
Bill Cosby played into the traps of those who are racist. Those same people absolutely love the idea
that a man like Cosby with such access to media outlets would place all black
people into one suffocating and false box.
There is condescension in Cosby's words and actions, like for instance in the
way he had ridiculed some of the unique names some black mothers give their
children. What was the purpose of such derisive criticism? Whites, Latinos and
Asians, etc. give their children just as unique names, if not more so. But Bill
Cosby chose to single out such names as somehow a negative because the people with
the uncommon names were black.
Bill Cosby may have been well-intentioned in his advice and criticisms, but his
delivery was not a constructive one. He, instead, fell into step with the
racist sentiments held by some that all
blacks are innately criminal and defective and that what ails some black people
is completely of their own design. Bill Cosby talked at all black people, not to
them.
More to the point, he talked down to all black people.
For example, like any therapist will tell you, calling names and lobbing
insults don't encourage an obese person to get healthier. Only by lifting that
person up by offering constructive and supportive words can you implant into a
person's mind that they deserve better, that they can be better, that they are
worth something more than what they've been led to believe.
Bill Cosby and people like him fail to grasp that idea as it applies to what
ails the black individual who insists on failing.
So then arise people like accomplished writer and professor Michael Eric Dyson
, a prominent black thinker who leads the criticism wave against Bill Cosby and
his tactics. But what I believe (and hope to be true) is that Dyson took issue
with Bill Cosby's delivery and not his message.
I'm a big proponent of the idea that we should always consider someone's
message, no matter if we criticize the way a person delivers it. From that
point we should then decide whether to reject or accept an idea or
suggestion.
And that is why I appreciated what Barack Obama tried to do in his Father's Day
speech. And I believe that Dyson can appreciate the message of that speech
given at the Apostolic
Obama spoke at a predominately black church active in how it addresses the
ailments of some black individuals. This church has an actual record of lowering
crime, gang membership and teen pregnancy in its community.
Obama's topic of the speech given at this church was absentee black fathers,
something Cosby discusses all the time.
But when Cosby wrote his book, who was his intended audience? It certainly was
not the young black single mother, working two jobs to support her children.
That person barely has time to rest, let alone read any words of wisdom Cosby
might have doled out in his book. Was affluent and/or well-to-do, perfectly
well-adjusted families his targeted reading audience? Because a) There are
several black families like that and b) they would be the only ones with the
time and money to buy the book and read it.
But why would black families in that category need to read such a book?
Or was Cosby's intended audience those outside of the black community? Was his
intention to justify and confirm the worst manufactured fears of the racist
about all blacks?
Whether or not that was his intention, that was the result. And that was why
Dyson and so many others criticized Cosby. And that is the reason why so many
will respect Obama and what he had to say.
Cosby should be holding seminars and passing out pamphlets that are directed to his intended audience and not at them. He should be in these
poverty-stricken areas where crime prevails and no where else delivering his
rhetoric. Because to no where and to no one else does Cosby admittedly say he
is directing his words and ideas when it comes to what ails some black
communities.
However, Dyson and so many should applaud Obama not just for what he had to say
but how he said it and where he said it. Obama is a man speaking from the place
of having grown up black and fatherless. He is also speaking from a place of a
man intent on breaking the cycle, speaking truth to blacks and not at them
when he says:
"I know what it means to have an absent father, although my circumstances
weren't as tough as they are for many young people today. Even though my
father left us when I was two years old, and I only knew him from the letters
he wrote and the stories that my family told, I was luckier than most... I
screwed up more often than I should've, but I got plenty of second chances. And
even though we didn't have a lot of money, scholarships gave me the opportunity
to go to some of the best schools in the country. A lot of kids don't get these
chances today. There is no margin for error in their lives. So my own story is
different in that way...
[W]e ... need families to raise our children. We need fathers to realize
that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that
what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child - it's the courage to
raise one.
It's up to us - as fathers and parents - to instill this ethic of excellence in
our children. ...That means setting examples of excellence in our own lives...
[and] pass along the value of empathy to our children.
We should be making it easier for fathers who make responsible
choices and harder for those who avoid them. We should get rid of the
financial penalties we impose on married couples right now, and start making
sure that every dime of child support goes directly to helping children instead
of some bureaucrat. We should reward fathers who pay that child support
with job training and job opportunities and a larger Earned Income Tax Credit
that can help them pay the bills. We should expand programs where
registered nurses visit expectant and new mothers and help them learn how to
care for themselves before the baby is born and what to do after - programs
that have helped increase father involvement, women's employment, and
children's readiness for school. We should help these new families care
for their children by expanding maternity and paternity leave, and we should
guarantee every worker more paid sick leave so they can stay home to take care
of their child without losing their income.
And that is why the final lesson we must learn as fathers is also the greatest
gift we can pass on to our children - and that is the gift of hope.
I'm not talking about an idle hope that's little more than blind optimism or
willful ignorance of the problems we face. I'm talking about hope as that
spirit inside us that insists, despite all evidence to the contrary, that
something better is waiting for us if we're willing to work for it and fight
for it. If we are willing to believe.
When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me - how do I make my way
in the world, and how do I become successful and how do I get the things that I
want.
But now, my life revolves around my two little girls. And what I think about is
what kind of world I'm leaving them. Are they living in a county where there's
a huge gap between a few who are wealthy and a whole bunch of people who are
struggling every day? Are they living in a county that is still divided by
race? A country where, because they're girls, they don't have as much
opportunity as boys do? Are they living in a country where we are hated around
the world because we don't cooperate effectively with other nations? Are they
living a world that is in grave danger because of what we've done to its
climate?
And what I've realized is that life doesn't count for much unless you're
willing to do your small part to leave our children - all of our children - a
better world. Even if it's difficult. Even if the work seems great. Even if we
don't get very far in our lifetime.
That is our ultimate responsibility as fathers and parents. We try. We hope. We
do what we can to build our house upon the sturdiest rock. And when the
winds come, and the rains fall, and they beat upon that house, we keep faith
that our Father will be there to guide us, and watch over us, and protect us,
and lead His children through the darkest of storms into light of a better day.
That is my prayer for all of us on this Father's Day, and that is my hope for
this country in the years ahead. "
