The new Secret Service codenames have officially been assigned for the First and Second Families. Michelle Obama will be known as “Renaissance” (making every political reporter from coast to coast thank Heaven for spell-check), while daughters Malia and Sasha will be called “Radiance” and “Rosebud,” respectively. Vice President-elect Joe Biden will be known by agents as “Celtic,” while his wife, Jill, will be called “Capri.” (Scroll down to find out where Obama’s new codename ranks on the list.)

Codenames were first used during the administration of President Dwight D. Eisenhower, and were intended to allow agents to conspicuously communicate about the location and actions of the president and other high profile officials. However, nothing about a man in a black suit wearing an earpiece and whispering into his sleeve is conspicuous, and over the years, what were once “secret” codenames have become general public knowledge.

Nonetheless, the Secret Service continues to use the code words. Though it’s likely that the President has some input into what his nickname is, the White House Communications Agency is responsible for assigning the names.

The Ten Best:

1. President Barack Obama - “Renegade” - For a guy who broke the mold in just about every way possible (and looked cool doing it the entire way), the name fits Obama perfectly.

2. President Ronald Reagan - “Rawhide” - Reagan wasn’t just a cowboy in Hollywood westerns. His ranch in Simi Valley was his sanctuary. And his take-no-prisoners style in the White House couldn’t be described better.

3. President Bill Clinton - “Eagle” - Strong, powerful, mysterious, and respectable, “Eagle” communicated everything you needed to know about Clinton.

4. President George H.W. Bush - “Timberwolf” - Not sure if this one fit H.W…at least not for the wolf’s reputation for ferocity. But the timberwolf is also known for its quiet wisdom. And whether or not you agreed with his politics, the same could be said for “Old 41.”

5. Former National Security Advisor Zbigniew Brzezinski - “Hawkeye” - It doesn’t just sound cool; it’s ironic as well. If there was one man who was the target of the term “hawk” (meaning a proponent of war) during the 1960s, this was the guy.

6. Counsel and Advisor to the President John Erlichman - “Wisdom” - When your job is to tell the President of the United States the difference between right and wrong, “Wisdom” is a pretty commanding nickname.

7. Pope John Paul II - “Halo” - Just because you couldn’t see the halo with your own eyes didn’t mean it wasn’t there. “The Saint” would also have been acceptable here.

8. White House Press Secretary (All) - “Matrix” - All White House Press Secretaries are now called “Matrix.”

9. Senator John McCain - “Phoenix” - He didn’t just come from the city in Arizona. He also rose from the ashes of a tattered 2000 campaign to run again in 2008 and successfully secure his party’s nomination.

10. Former Secretary of State James Baker - “Fencing Master” - The way Baker ran a political campaign (as he did for George W. Bush in Florida in 2000) would have made you think he was a master swordsman.

The Ten Worst:

1. Prince Charles of the United Kingdom - “Unicorn” - That’s just one step away from “Care Bear.” Ouch.

2. Former White House Press Secretary Ron Wessen - “Clam Chowder” - Maybe you like the soup, and maybe you don’t. No matter what, it’s a weird nickname.

3. President Richard Nixon - “Searchlight” - This one is humorously apropos. Searchlights are used to “search” for criminals. Turns out the real crook was Tricky Dick himself.

4. Vice President Dick Cheney - “Angler” - It’s not so much his nickname that got him on the list, as much as the name for his office (“Cobweb”), and his staff (“Pacemaker”). The humor there is that Cheney is never in his office (he’s usually in Bush’s), so it probably does have cobwebs, and we don’t have to tell you that the Vice President has a notoriously temperamental ticker.

5. President George W. Bush - “Tumbler” - Look at the other presidents and their cool nicknames, then look at Bush’s, and you’ll understand why his nickname doesn’t really inspire fear in the hearts of men.

6. Son of President Ronald Reagan, Michael Reagan - “Riddler” - Who wants to be names after a neon-green spandex-wearing criminal from a comic book series (Batman)?

7. President Gerald Ford - “Pass Key” - Ford ended up “passing” his “key” onto Jimmy “The Lock Master” Carter without ever winning a presidential election.

8. Former White House Press Secretary Ron Zeigler - “Whale Boat” - Like “Clam Chowder,” Whale Boat isn’t exactly the kind of thing you’d want embroidered on the back of your motorcycle jacket. And if Mr. Zeigler had been overweight…well, that just would have been offensive. 

9. Singer Frank Sinatra - “Napoleon” - Is it good because Napoleon conquered most of the world? Or bad because he was infamously short and has an inferiority complex named after him? Who knows?

10. Daughter of Vice-President Al Gore, Karenna Gore - “Smurfette” - Cute if you’re six years old. Not cute if you’re 20 years old when they give you the name.