Cross-posted on The Stonecipher Report
Hey, and I always thought Friday was supposed to be a sort of political "take out the trash" day, with potential news items getting buried by the impending arrival of the much-waited-for weekend, especially now, during the hot-movie, time-off-of-work-and-school, baseball-games-PLUS-basketball-and-hockey-playoffs, pleasant-weather weeks…But I’ve been busy surfing online today, and turned up a number of interesting recent political news stories that I thought you all might appreciate.
…So let’s take a peeky-boo at what’s going on in the halls of US politics this late-May Friday, shall we?
News Item: Sen. Carl Levin, chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, said this week that claims by former VP Dick Cheney that classified CIA memos showed that enhanced interrogation techniques (such as waterboarding) worked were lies. He called for the declassification and release of these documents to dramatically expose Cheney’s claims.
Quietly, Cheney is expected to reach out to the longtime Michigan Democrat and seek to perhaps smooth over the misunderstandings between them with a pleasant outing for an afternoon of golf…no, wait – or maybe an enjoyable outdoor hike in the woods…wait – we’ve got it: What about a nice little private hunting trip? How about it, Senator? How’d you like to go out hunting with the former Vice President? (Note: Orange safety vests completely optional…)
News Item: Former President George W. Bush said yesterday that if his wife Laura hadn’t been married to him, he’s not sure if she would’ve even voted for him...
Oh, great – NOW you tell us…But how the hell does that explain the 62,040,609 Americans who WEREN’T married to him in 2004?
News Item: A leading Republican Senator strongly denounced recent statements from conservative commentators Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich that Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor was a "racist."
"I think it's terrible," said Texas Sen. John Cornyn, the chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee. "This is not the kind of tone any of us want to set when it comes to performing our constitutional responsibilities of advise and consent." He added that, "Neither one of these men are elected Republican officials. I just don't think it’s appropriate. I certainly don't endorse it. I think it’s wrong."
When asked what Cornyn should expect from Limbaugh’s likely highly publicized response to his rebuke, Republican strategists and aides (nervously seeking to remain unnamed) directed reporters to "Check out ‘The Godfather: Part II’ to see how a powerful Michael Corleone dealt with his betraying brother Fredo…"
News Item: Arizona Sen. John McCain – the Republican’s losing 2008 Presidential nominee – has officially lent his endorsement to former eBay executive (and first-time potential political candidate) Meg Whitman in her upcoming expected GOP run to seek to succeed the term-limited-retiring California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
In response, an unidentified Whitman advisor said, "What? McCain said what? No, no – like we need THAT. Can someone get the McCain people on the phone and see if we can try to get them to confuse the Senator into endorsing Carly Fiorina instead? Maybe he can say he mixed up eBay with H-P or something like that…"
News Item: President Barack Obama announced Friday that he is creating the post of a federal cybersecurity coordinator to oversee "a new comprehensive approach to securing America's digital infrastructure." Obama said he will personally select the person to fill this "cyber czar" post, and will depend on this new official in all matters related to cybersecurity.
…Hey, I think former Alaska Sen. Ted "The Internet is a series of tubes" Stevens has got some time on his hands these days, so maybe the President should drop him an e-mail and see…
News Item: A recent in-depth analysis of the current thoughts and attitudes of former President Bill Clinton says that he holds no grudge against President Obama for defeating Hillary (perhaps mainly due to her resulting elevation as his prominent Secretary of State)…but that he has still not "made peace" with the strong backing that former allies Sen. Ted Kennedy and Gov. Bill Richardson gave Obama over his wife in the 2008 Democratic primaries…
Note to former President Clinton: "Have you considered asking those sniveling liberal bastards Kennedy and Richardson to perhaps join you on a little hunting trip? Couldn’t hurt (you, anyway – providing you plan ahead accordingly)…Respectfully – if completely politically opposed – yours, former Vice President Cheney"
News Item: It has been reported that 2008 Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin’s husband Todd repeatedly offered to buy their then-pregnant teen daughter Bristol a car if she would dump her teenaged baby-daddy boyfriend, Levi Johnston…
"Oh, man," exasperated former McCain ’08 Campaign senior advisors responded. "Maybe we should’ve thought to offer Gov. Palin a really nice, deluxe tricked-out pickup truck to try and get her to drop off the McCain ticket back in October…"